Learning to speak your truth in life is not easy.
This can be for many reasons. Perhaps from an early age, you were told to keep your opinions to yourself. Maybe you even got in trouble for speaking up. Perhaps your parents assigned to the belief that children should be “seen and not heard”.
If this kind of conditioning is placed upon you as a child, it naturally can make it incredibly difficult to know how to effectively communicate as an adult.
If you never learnt to have your thoughts and feelings valued in your developmental stages how are you to know they are valuable as a grown up?
And further to that, how are you supposed to have the skills required to effectively communicate?
This type of conditioning creates a mindset that says in order to safe and loved you need to remain silent.
The impact of this experience as a child can manifest in many ways in our lives as an adult. Some examples may be, a deep fear of conflict, being overly agreeable, or devaluing your own personal perspectives in relation to others.
Looking at them more closely, these behaviours all point to a lack of confidence in our own voice. It can mean avoiding difficult but necessary conversations in order to “stay safe”, which ultimately lead to us not feeling heard.
All of these behaviours are incredibly toxic to the self and can significantly affect self-esteem.
For example, if you are in a situation at work where someone is taking advantage of you, but you have a deep fear of conflict, you will likely choose to remain silent.
The problem is that you still FEEL all of the things that someone who has better communication skills feels, but you repress yourself which leads to feelings of anger and frustration towards not only the person who is taking advantage of you but also to yourself for not having the courage to speak your truth.
There are many examples of how these types of situations can arise, but the outcome is much the same – anger, frustration and even depression.
This is why speaking up is so important!
By learning to speak up about things that matter to us we build our confidence and self-worth and therefore naturally increase our happiness.
Speaking your truth means placing your needs in alignment with the needs of others. Yes, despite the common misconception that we must all self-sacrifice in order to be good people. The fact is that we must learn to care each for ourselves, with compassion to others, and not place our own needs lower than another’s.
Here are some simple steps to help you get started on speaking your truth.
Get in touch with your deepest needs and feelings. | Speak Your Truth
What do you want to say, how do you really feel? Asking these questions will help you develop a connection with yourself.
Learn where the fear against speaking up sits in your body. | Speak Your Truth
Acknowledge and accept that you are going to be scared. Notice your physical body, do you have butterflies? Are your hands shaky? Whatever happens, accept it with love.
Practice with a friend or family member that you trust. | Speak Your Truth
Speaking up with someone who you know you are safe with, is a great place to start. It will help alleviate the anxiety you may have and gives you a safe place to build your confidence.
It won’t be easy to start with. Learning to be brave and work through your fears around speaking up will have a flow-on effect in all areas of your life.