One of the best ways to find out what you want out of love is to understand how you view life and relationships from your heart’s perspective. You may have heard of Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages that guide you through how your feelings help you relate to the world. In a broader sense, the Greeks believed that there were at least four types of love that people exhibit depending on whether you’re with a friend, family member, romantic partner, or engaged in a more Universal spiritual practice.
But what about within partnerships?
Activist and sociologist John Alan Lee studied love literature across millennia and found that there are six distinct love styles which people exhibit that are powerful indicators of what will bring you the most contentment in a relationship. Which one are you? Take a look at these six “types” to find out your unique approach to amore.
“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.” – Eckhart Tolle
The 6 Love Types You Should Know to Help You Thrive in Relationships
Eros | 6 Love Types
Do you love the feelings of romance and passion that come with a new relationship? Intense emotions and lots of physical attraction are key characteristics in this type of connection, and Eros styles often only have “eyes for each other” forming a deeply satisfying bond. Yet when the high levels of excitement fade, so too does the commitment and you may find yourself moving on to the next flame.
Storge | 6 Love Types
Based on bonds of friendship, Storge partners develop long-term trust, respect, and admiration for their lovers. You often show strong signs of intimacy and are able to form stable commitments highlighted by lots of shared hobbies, interests, and dreams. This devotion allows you to walk life’s journey together with your mate.
Ludus | 6 Love Types
If you see love as a form of entertainment, with a great “love of the chase”, and game playing, you’re most likely a Ludus. Pure pleasure is the goal, and that is found in part through competition. You love to win, and once you do it’s time to find a new game.
Pragma | 6 Love Types
As the name implies, people who identify with this style are pragmatic when it comes to love, yet are also concerned about feelings. You use logic and facts to figure out how compatible you are with another person because you care about being able to relate to them. You are concerned about such questions as how they handle their finances and household responsibilities, as well as if the two of you have life goals in common with each other.
Mania | 6 Love Types
Here is a style that tends to run hot and cold in a way that fuses eros and ludus love, and your emotions about the relationship are highly dependent on how much your beau is able to meet your needs at any given moment. You may obsess about what’s happening with your mate, and tend to overanalyze situations, which can lead to jealousy. Once you have reassurance that all is well, your feelings switch to high levels of happiness.
Agape | 6 Love Types
This style takes the Universal love that the ancient Greeks described and translates it into how you relate to your partner. The focus is on giving, kindness, and generosity, and it is associated with high levels of satisfaction and commitment in relationships. It has also been shown to be positively correlated with age, and people often shift into an Agape love style as they increase in life wisdom.
The good news is that love styles aren’t ‘locked in’, but can be influenced by such factors such as passion, commitment, and intimacy. As you grow in your ability to share your feelings with your partner and make a decision to stay together, you’re actually becoming a more compassionate person. This is when a relationship can turn into a life partnership in which you not only help each other thrive, but together can bring more peace and joy into the wider world and help shape a brighter future.