What does it mean to make a judgement?
The dictionary defines a judgement as, “The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.”
So when we make a judgement, we are essentially trying to make a decision based on what we see, know, or understand about something.
Seems pretty straightforward right? I mean we are constantly making judgements. Before we cross a busy road, we need to judge whether or not it is safe to cross. We do that by judging whether there is traffic of course and whether the road itself is safe to walk on, and whether we can get to the other side safely in time.
In this sense, judgements are measures. They serve as a way and means to establish certainty around something.
So why does it seem like everyone is so against judgements when they are simply rational and necessary?
The problem around judgment as far as I can tell, is actually not related to this type of practical judgment., from what I see..
The problems only really start when we start to judge people.
That type of judgment is not practical, it’s emotional.
Let’s look at this a little closer..
To be judgemental of other people, means making moral assessments of them. Which, unless you are qualified and have been trained to do so, can be a problem.
Human beings are a complex mix of emotions, characteristics, ideas, beliefs, and perspectives.
So how is it that we somehow feel entitled to throw judgements at others?
The idea is kind of ridiculous, but it’s certainly not uncommon. It’s safe to say you have done it before. I most certainly have. In fact, we do it all the time!
The second problem is that often we judge others because of some need within us for power or superiority.
Tragically we actually think that we increase our own sense of moral worth by comparing our perspective and opinion to that of another and showing that somehow we are “better.”
Again, how does any person hold the idea that this is appropriate?
From what I can see, when we judge other people, despite all of the righteous reasons we may hold, whether connected to religion, moral values, familial conditioning, whatever; it comes down to this one thing.
But how does being scared – translate to throwing shade at others?
If we did not in some way feel as though our personal values and morals were at risk, or threatened by the existence of another person’s perspective, we would not EVER need to judge them.
If we wholeheartedly believed that we would be loved, honoured and accepted FULLY for who we are at all times, we would never need to be judgemental of others.
We would simply accept them as they are.
How interesting is that? When we judge others, we seem to be pointing out a deficit within them, but actually, because of our fear, we actually feel a deficit within ourselves.
To me, it seems that those who judge others are those who are the most insecure about who they are, and fear that judgement in their own life.
Beautiful isn’t it? The irony of it all!
The point of this article is not to judge others for being judgemental, it’s to find compassion for them.
If you have someone in your life whom you find to be particularly judgemental, look a little closer.
It may not be easy, particularly if they are making judgements of you, but with this new understanding, may you quickly understand that other people’s judgements are almost never about you.
Rather they are projecting into you a part of who they are. And in the end, that is none of your business.