There is nothing better than meeting a new person and have an instant rapport with them. It’s so rare that it’s usually an event that you remember all day and maybe even the following day. 

Human connection is one of the most important needs of every human being. Tony Robbins talks about it in his 6 Human Needs talk and Maslow also discusses in his hierarchy of needs.

But for some people, it’s hard to learn how to build rapport. For some, it seems so easy as it’s thought they are born with talent. For others, building rapport seems nearly impossible, especially if you’re an introvert.

Luckily, like so many other skills, learning how to build rapport is something that you can acquire to start building an instant connection when you meet new people.

How to Build Rapport

Ask yourself, when you meet someone new, what do you tend to task them as your first question? If you’re like most people, you tend to have a few questions that are you stand by, go-to type questions.

Questions like …

  • “Where are you from? “
  • “What type of work do you do?”
  • “Do you have kids?”

While those are how most people start a conversation with a new person, often times it’s what you don’t say that actually matters. While words may seem like a huge deal, your nonverbal language is much more important.

Some studies have found that only 7% of how humans communicate is verbal and the other 93% is your nonverbal language! That means that your body language and energy is significantly more important than anything you actually say out loud.

Here’s how you can master the 93% with the mirror method.

Mirror Method

Humans gravitate to what is familiar. That’s why people often associate with other people that they are like, it’s human nature. The next time you’re in a social situation or at an event, try the mirror method.

If someone is talking loud or with their hands, match them. If they are talking quiet or kind of shy, mirror them as well. You can even use the mirror method with touch. Or if they shake hands and put a hand on your shoulder, match them.

In fact, mirror as much as you can at the beginning. This could be posture, tempo, tone, and even facial expressions. Now, don’t make it super obvious but try to do match them whenever you can.

Why It Works

This may feel awkward to some of you reading this but the mirror method is something I learned at a Tony Robbins seminar and it 100% works. When someone acts, walks, and talks like you, you more likely to like them.

And it works! Politicians are notorious for doing this. If they have an event in a rural state they will dress very differently than if they’re in Manhattan.

I was also taught to do this mirror trick when meeting clients for lunch. If they order the salad, so do I. Eventually the other person will be to even mirror you! This can leave people with a positive and lasting impression of you for the future.

I know it sounds crazy, but it works. Employ the mirror technique the next time you want to build a connection with someone and you will learn how to build rapport almost immediately.



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