Stop Doing These 5 Things If You Want To Find Love (Inspirational Video)
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Speakers: Josiah Ruff, Tyrone Stokes
TRANSCRIPT – Stop Doing These 5 Things If You Want To Find Love (Inspirational Video)
(Intro from Super Soul Sunday with Oprah Winfrey and Gary Zukav and Linda Francis)
“I actually said this to Tom Cruise a long time ago… That movie, Jerry Maguire, “You complete me”… really messed a lot of people up.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the movie theater and all the women went, “Oh, she completes him” when in fact, no one completes you…
Instead of looking for the right person, work to make yourself the right person for you and the right person will then be drawn to you based upon the work that you’ve done for yourself.
That’s what I hear you saying. Everybody who’s looking for somebody, and believe me, there are lots of people who are like looking for Mr. Right or Miss Right, or whatever that is… to complete them.”
No one will love you until you love yourself. No one can complete you until you… yourself are complete.
You must get to the place where you don’t need another, but you can enjoy another without attachment. Where you can GIVE LOVE… without the NEED of receiving it back. LOVE without conditions.
You are not YOU plus the other person. You existed before the other person and you will exist long after… you will always be yourself and knowing that you can give more.
If you do the work on YOU… If YOU become the person you want in your life… It will happen for you… and you’ll be thankful you didn’t give up. Believe that.
When it comes to LOVE and relationships you can think of it like a mirror. If you LOVE yourself… you will find more people have love for you. If you respect yourself… you will find more people have respect for you. If you VALUE yourself… you will find more people value you.
If you are mostly happy, joyful and positive, you will find you attract mostly happy, joyful and positive people and relationships.
So don’t focus on finding someone to complete you… focus on completing YOURSELF first… then, the right people will show up.
Love is the most powerful force on Earth.
Some say that finding a genuine connection today is harder than ever, but that’s no reason to give up trying. That’s no reason to give up believing you deserve it. KNOWING you deserve it.
Real love will find you, when you’re ready for it. REAL LOVE will find you, when you understand that you don’t search for love in others, but you find it in yourself first.
We all deserve to be loved, and the first step on the journey to REAL love is to love yourself first!
Next, you will need to do the work rather than waiting for someone else to come along and “fix” you, and finally, now is the time to let go of the habits that have kept you from getting hurt, but are also holding you back from a true partnership built on love and respect.
So, If you’re asking “Will I Ever Find Love?” You Must stop Doing These 3 Things first:
Number 1! You Have to stop looking for others to love you, and instead love yourself first!
In the search for REAL love, the very first step must be loving oneself first! If you don’t love the special being that you are, how can you expect anyone else to?
If you are looking for a true partner to share your life with, someone who will walk with you and encourage you to live your best life, you have to treat yourself that way first.
When you find yourself frustrated in your search for a loving and respectful partner, take a step back to examine how you honestly feel and treat yourself.
Take a close look at your self-talk, and begin to shut down the negativity that we can often inflict on ourselves.
When you aren’t at peace with who you are and you are constantly waiting for someone to “fix” you, you will likely attract toxic people who are looking for someone to take advantage of.
Don’t fall into this trap! Take the time to do
the difficult self-work that makes you an attractive partner and will help you to attract loving and respectful people into your life.
When you want someone else to do the heavy lifting for you, you will likely be disappointed with the caliber of people who enter your
life. When you know that you are a whole and complete person who is looking for a partner rather than a savior you are opening yourself up to attracting likeminded people who are also seeking someone to walk the journey of life with.
Number 2 – Stop wearing masks and trying to appear perfect. Be yourself.
The most common mistake people make when looking for a real connection is inauthenticity.
True love will never find you if you aren’t ready to reveal your true self. If you want someone to love you despite your faults, you must be ready to do the same for them.
‘False advertising’ has never been higher. Tinder, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram are all, at times, authenticity killers. People seem more obsessed with appearing “perfect” than ever before.
If you want love, be yourself. Your RAW, true, authentic self, flaws and all.
Learn to love who you are and stop hiding it from the world. One day someone will fall for who you are, not how you wish to be perceived.
If you’re always wearing a mask, covering up your REAL self… how could anyone ever love you for who you are. REAL LOVE can only come to those who are REAL themselves.
Remember: The RIGHT person is always waiting for you to reveal your REAL SELF. All the wrong people will always be available for the masked you.
Most people don’t learn this until much later in life, so start expressing your true character today you never know who’s watching.
Number 3: Stop expecting someone to be something you are not giving back. The Mirror
This is the concept of the mirror.
Most people aren’t actively looking for someone who is negative, pessimistic, lazy or uninspiring.
You set the standard for the type of person you want in your life. If you want a particular type of person, you must mirror that quality.
If you want someone fit and healthy. You must be a mirror of that person.
You want someone who always sees the positive in every situation? – mirror that mindset with your own outlook.
If you want someone with drive and ambition, ask yourself if you possess those characteristics.
Like attracts like, mirror the person you want and that connection will happen much more naturally.
Finding genuine happiness within yourself, is one of the most important steps to making a genuine connection with someone.
Number 4: Stop Hiding – Be Brave
Nothing will come to you in this life if you are hiding from it. Nothing will come if you are running scared.
If you want something, you’re going to have to be brave and put yourself out there!
If you don’t put yourself out there no one will be able to find you.
Sure, this won’t work for you EVERY time… but it will NEVER work if you never put yourself out there.
Become someone capable of loving and being loved.
Self Worth – The stories you tell yourself become your reality… So do that work on
your-self. The real deep self-work that creates a better you. Because the BETTER YOU FEEL about you, the better you are going to show up in the world. The better you show up, the better your relationships.
Number 5: Stop Holding on to Comfortable Habits that Are Holding You Back
There are a lot of habits that you know don’t serve you well, but you’ve become comfortable with the perceived protection that they offer.
Habits that you know aren’t helpful in your quest to find true love, but you may be reluctant to give them up.
If you want to find love you have to make sacrifices. If this is your situation, remember that life’s greatest growth comes when you leave your comfort zone.
Don’t let feeling comfortable and safe hold you back from a full and vibrant life that could lead to the love of your life.
Opening yourself up and allowing emotional vulnerability is an essential part of finding true love. Let go of the defence mechanisms and withdrawal strategies that have both kept you from getting hurt and also hold you back from finding love.
Do you recognize yourself in some of these 5 things to stop doing if you want to find love? If you do, it’s time to get down to the hard work that is necessary to get you to a place where you can attract true love! Yes, it may be scary to let go of these behaviors and mindsets that have protected you from emotional hurt, but if you truly want to find love, you really have no choice.
Let your light shine brightly, bravely be yourself and like moths to a flame, you will attract the right people.
Make sure they mirror the characteristics you find important & you will find LOVE… and never forget: No one will love you until you love yourself.