This Is Why We Suffer (and This Is How We End Suffering)

Speaker: Peter Crone

Transcript – Peter Crone on Suffering and How To End Our Own Internal Suffering:

The way life occurs to us is that there’s always somewhere to get to, until you realize that there isn’t

…Similarly suffering is always present until we realize that there isn’t suffering. And that to me is the beauty of the human experience.

So, suffering is unavoidable by virtue of we’re here, but nonetheless, the opportunity, the possibility that it is to be human is to transcend suffering.

And it’s such a beautiful design again, because if it weren’t for the previous suffering, we don’t get to experience the latter freedom.

As an adult, I got to see myself in a picture and all black and white of me as a child and my cute little onesy, whatever it is running with my arms out, my mother is sort of very gently ushering me from behind. So you can see that she’s sort of directing me towards somebody who you can’t see because they’re off camera. They’re out of frame from the picture. But I know because of the setting, it was set at a Harbor at a dock where the boat had just, you know, come to birth and we’ve probably come off the boat and I’m running towards my dad because my dad worked on the boats. And as I looked at that photo and it’s this whole black and white, and this adorable little child, which you know, is running towards his father, who he loves his dad. And what had occurred to me is at that moment, one of the most important parts of love is the energy of missing somebody.

We often think that love is I’m with someone I’m sharing a dinner with them, I’m going to bed with them, or it could be a family member who I’m living with or I’m sharing time with constantly. But that denies the flip side of the same coin, which is one of the most beautiful aspects of love is what feels like the absence of the experience of love. And we can call that missing somebody… and why it was so profound for me is to see that little child run towards his dad with the excitement of the fact that for a minute, for minutes, maybe a day, maybe a week, it could be longer…. We experience the separation from that, which we love.

And if it weren’t for the experience of separation, we would not appreciate the joy of love.

And so why I use that example as it relates to suffering and freedom is because separation is hurtful, it’s painful, and that is suffering. And in this case, suffering is where we become separate from the knowledge, from the true wisdom of our true essence, whilst freedom is the remembrance and the awakening to the essence of who I am at my core, which is freedom.

So the two are inextricably connected and simultaneously necessary in order to experience one or the other.

If it weren’t for the experience of missing, I don’t get to go to the depths of the joy of love and equally, if it weren’t for the pain and the seeming inconvenience of human suffering, then I wouldn’t get to experience the elation and the joy of liberation that is true freedom.

When you really understand that dynamic…. it’s so beautiful to see the duality of everything. And I would actually take it a little deeper, which is to say the freedom really is the container. Like the love is the container that holds both.

We have the joy and we have the misery, we have the happiness and we have the sadness. And this is where if we can be big enough, expanded enough as human beings that we make space for all of it… it would be as nonsensical.

You know, for people who think they just want to be positive and happy, that is like asinine. It would be like me saying, no, no, no. All I want to do is inhale. Cause that’s so good. You get oxygen. If you’re like, what the hell? Like if it weren’t for the fact that I get to exit and let go of, you know, in this case, obviously physiologically biologically the toxins of carbon dioxide and stuff that no longer serves me because it’s already served its purpose in my body. Then I wouldn’t get the joy of having that cyclical process of inhale exhale that keeps me alive.

So similarly, the actual nature of duality, both parts are flip sides of the same coin that are an inherent experience of being human. And the degree to which we can embrace both is the degree to which we are truly free to allow all aspects of what it means to be human.

So suffering is really one aspect, but it is an aspect where there is ultimately a form of ignorance. And I don’t mean that as a judgment. I mean, it truly, in the fact that we don’t know something.

We suffer because we don’t know how extraordinary we are. We suffer because we don’t know that we actually are loved. We don’t, we suffer because we don’t feel safe. And it is in that ignorance than not knowing the absence of knowledge that we suffer.

And the process of awakening is realizing, Oh, these are lies. And as I transcend lie, I expand into my bigger nature, which then is the experience of liberation, which is contained in the safety that we are held and beneficiaries of life, because we are fundamentally loved.

The way I look at it is that this dimension that we are in as human beings to me is a revelatory dimension. What does that mean? Life will reveal where you yourself, as a being do not experience freedom.

Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you’re not free.

So why is that a completely different perspective or different way of looking at the experience of life? Because most people are playing the human game. What is the human game they’re trying to accumulate, right? Accumulation of status, accumulation of possessions, accumulation of finance. And they’re trying to play the game of I’m becoming a better human by virtue of what I have usually… now that’s not wrong, but it’s also, to me, it’s a powerless game to play.

Whereas the awakening process of who I am as a being who is limitless, who is in its infancy and its true inherent nature, nothing but love peace, power, freedom.

That is to me, the game, that’s really at foot for human beings. That is the opportunity that it is to be a human is to awaken to the true essence of who I am rather than being defined by the persona that has been conditioned over time. That is now founded in the essence of survival. That is two entirely different approaches to the human experience. One is linear and one is vertical, right? So linear is okay, hopefully over time I’m going to improve. I got a promotion, I got a corner office. I got a bigger home. I’ve got a nicer car. I’ve got a little bit more money. That is, you know, there’s again, no judgment, but it is a futile dead end method of trying to find internal value by using external and exogenous means to bring some sense of worth.. versus discovering. Wow. My inherent nature is freedom.

My inherent nature is love. My inherent nature is peace and life is constantly giving me the opportunity to awaken to those qualities by virtue of presenting to me ironically, where I don’t experience that.

So that’s why, again, I said, life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you’re not free.

We often look as those circumstances as frustrating as things we don’t want, but that’s precisely why they’re being given to us because we’ve yet to see how powerful and extraordinary we are that we have yet to integrate those experiences and see that I can truly be with whatever is occurring and maintain my inner sense of peace and freedom and love.

We arrive as beings, but shrouded in constraint, we arrive as souls, but constrained by fear and the game of this particular dimension of planet earth and being human is Oh, awesome. We are set here so that we can reveal where we are confined, constrained and have some sense of separation and limitation. And so life is the process of sloughing by virtue of these trials and tribulations. And these sort of confronting circumstances really is a form of resistance, which just like polishing a diamond is allowing us to recognize where we still feel constrained or we arrived with our bucket of fears. And as I say, you know, the “ winner of the game” is who can get rid of their fears the the fastest, not that there is any urgency, but we could say, and I would assert the true liberation and true freedom, which is my main product is when we have confronted all of the fears that we arrived with to recognize that in fact, there is nothing to fear itself whatsoever. And that was always just a narrative that was part of our persona or our ego. That was just simply the cocoon in which we found we needed to live in order to stay safe. When in fact it’s quite the antithesis of that, which is true. Security is when I no longer need the illusion of external security.

If the experience I have with another person is of some form of disharmony, of judgment of hostility. Then that really is a reflection of what’s going on inside of me.

So as I say, as we express, so we experience, right. So if I’m expressing anger towards whoever or whatever the circumstance may be, then I am experiencing anger, right? So this, this water travels through say a garden hose. If the garden hose was sent in today, I had a feeling internally, it would feel the passage of the water when it was cold or hot, or how fast it’s moving. So likewise as we express our emotional state, we’re under the impression that it’s by virtue of what’s going on outside of us, but whether it is or not in terms of our interpretation when nonetheless experiencing all of that.

So then why wouldn’t I, if I know that correlation, if I’m, if I’m actually aware of that formula, then why wouldn’t I, wherever possible, bring an experience of love and joy to whoever it might be, because then I’m equally the beneficiary of it. And this is why exercises like gratitude journals or going and being a volunteer and being of service to a community feels good. Why does it feel good? Because what I’m actually doing is I’m bringing the experience of my true self is what I would have saw and I’m sharing to another, I’m giving to another. And therefore I am equally the beneficiary of my own active contribution.

You know, Einstein said, you either, you look at the universe in one of two ways, everything is a miracle or nothing’s a miracle, right? And so really when you get, we are beneficiaries of life, even though again, I’ve been through a ton of what felt like unnecessarily hardship that at the time, my little persona was like, I don’t want this. This sucks, but really in hindsight is often the case we’ve recognized. Wow. If it weren’t for those events, if it weren’t for those hardships, then I wouldn’t have discovered that expansiveness of what I’ve just stepped into and why I use the expression that smooth seas never made a good sailor, right? So we need adversity itself is the catalyst for growth. It is. Life is the greatest teacher by virtue of the fact that it gives us challenges so that it can, as I said earlier, slough off anything that is confining us, anything that is holding us back a constraint that is in some way, limiting ourself expression, we need some resistance to get rid of that.

And that is at times a very difficult pill to swallow, but it is nonetheless the catalyst to discover that really we are held eternally.

It’s like the metaphor of the image of these trapeze artists, right? The experience for anybody who goes up on a trapeze from the perspective of the ego is fear. If there’s no net, right? You, you would feel such trepidation of letting go of the trapeze bar to transition maybe to your partner and be caught in the absence of knowing there was some safety net and that’s the ego’s experiences. It goes through life. It feels that at any turn its existence is in potential danger. Everything can come across as a potential threat, and that’s an exhausting place to live from.

Conversely, if we can tap into this deeper essence of understanding the nature of life and particularly the nature of who we are, then at every turn, there is always a safety net. It might not feel like it, but we can drop, we can fall. We can miss the grip of the partners. We transitioned from trapeze bar to trapeze bar and it’s okay. And that we could say our errors and mistakes are failures and it’s okay.

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Deepak Chopra – You Suffer Because You Don’t Know Who You Are (Amazing Speech)

Transcript Deepak Chopra Interview with Tom Bilyeu

So, suddenly I saw the connection between mind, body, and spirit. But then I was also actually intrigued by the fact that you can have two patients who had the same illness, saw the same doctor, got the same treatment, and had completely different outcomes. One could survive, one could die. And in between, there was a wide range of outcomes.

And it did give me the insight that our normal everyday experience or what we call reality is the hypnosis of social conditioning that actually in reality shifts as your consciousness shifts.

A correlation is not a causation as we know. If the rooster crows in the morning, and the sun rises at the same time, we don’t assume that the rooster cause the sun to rise, okay? But they’re correlated. So your mind, your brain, and the physical world are correlated experiences in a deeper realm of existence, which is not in space or time.

The purpose of all healers and ultimately, of all physicians should be to alleviate suffering. Now, we’ve done a pretty good job with alleviating what we call suffering that had cause acute illness. You break your leg, you get an orthopedic surgeon to fix it. You get pneumonia, you take an antibiotic. So we’ve done a good job on what we call the physicalist level for acute illness. But then there’s something called chronic illness diabetes type II, inflammation, cancer, heart disease, autoimmune illness, accelerated aging, propensity to infections, and we haven’t done a good job there.

Because what we are realizing right now that only 5% of disease-related gene mutations are fully penetrant, which means they guarantee the disease. 95% of gene mutations that cause illness are related to lifestyle. Sleep, managing stress, and whether you mediate or not, you exercise or not, maybe you do yoga or not, breathing techniques, the quality of your emotions, nutrition, personal relationships, social interactions, environment, connection with nature influence your gene activity. We call it epigenetics.

Let’s say you got rid of all chronic illness and acute illness. Would humans still suffer? And the answer is yes because unlike other species, we have something, which is actually quite bizarre, it’s called existential suffering.

We wonder why we exist. We wonder why we get old and can we prevent that? We wonder why we get infirm and lose our memories as we get old. Can we prevent that? But we also are afraid of death. Can we prevent that? And the answer is biological death is based on a false premise, which is you are your biology. And you are your body and your mind. You are not your body, you are not your mind, you are not the experience of the world.

You are the consciousness in which all this experience occurs. To observe a thought is to know that you are not a thought. To observe an emotion is to know that you are not the emotion. To observe the body is to know that you are not this bundle of sensations and perceptions.

So who are you? What is it that knows a thought? What is it that knows a perception, the color red? Is there a color red anywhere in the physical universe, or is it just an experience? I guarantee you no scientist can tell you that the color red exists as a physical entity in the universe. It’s an experience in human consciousness, not in the consciousness of a bat who doesn’t see colors but experiences the echo of ultrasound. So what is the color red to a bat?

When you realize that everything you thought was real is not real, when you also realize that who you think you are is not real, or when you realize that all your name, your form, and everything you see is provisional to things happen to some people they have immediate, what we could only metaphorically call, the dark night of the soul. They go into a deep depression because everything they thought was real is no longer real, including their own name, form, body, and mind. Some people cross that threshold and discover Nirvana or enlightenment. And they say, “Wow, I thought I was squeezed into the volume of a body in the span of a lifetime, but I’m a timeless being that can morph myself into any experience including the human experience, which is amazing.

But the human experience is also that which causes existential depression. So the causes of human suffering, since you brought it up, are brought up are brought up in Eastern wisdom traditions as, number one, you suffer because you don’t know who you are. You confuse yourself with your body, mind, experience.

Number two, you grasp and cling at experiences which are evanescent and transitory and dream-like. You say, what happened to your childhood? It’s over. What happened to yesterday? It’s over. What happened to five minutes ago? It’s over. What happens to these words by the time you hear them? They don’t exist. So Wittgenstein, the German philosopher said, “We are asleep, our life is a dream, but once in a while we wake up enough to know that we are dreaming.”

So what do you wake up to when you cross this threshold? You wake up to your true self, which is not body or mind but the awareness in which that experience is happening. So grasping and clinging at a dream is the second cause of human suffering.

The third is being afraid of anything that’s unpleasant. Pain, abandonment, being treated by someone not respectfully. So there’s a version to certain experiences. Third cause of suffering.

Fourth is identifying, which is related to your ego identity. And fifth is the fear of death. Now they’re all connected. They’re all the same fear and they are not knowing who you are. This is the biggest question that humans, or everybody should be asking. Who am I? What am I?

Am I the changing experience of this body, which is a perceptual activity. Am I the experience of the changing mind or the changing personality? But then you don’t have the same personality when you were a kid or maybe even 10 years ago. What is it at the basis of this? When you start that reflective self-inquiry, ask yourself: Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? What am I grateful for? Going to the stillness of the meditation you have what wisdom traditions have called revelation. Revealed truth.

Now, that sounds very grand. I would say just call it insight. Meditation, mindfulness, awareness of body, awareness of mind, awareness of mental space. Awareness of the web of relationship, awareness of that which we call the universe. It leads you, ultimately, to the awareness of awareness. And when you discover that, that’s nirvana.

Is there anything behind consciousness? No. Now, everyday experience is modified consciousness. So right now what you’re experiencing is what we call the waking state of consciousness, okay. What do you mean by that? The awareness that I’m aware? No, the awareness that is experiencing a physical body and the physical world with eyes open is called waking state of consciousness. Okay. So awareness is modifying itself every time you open your eyes into this experience, right? And you call it the physical world. Now if you close your eyes, you have another state of consciousness where you don’t actually experience the physical world. You experience sensations, images, thoughts, emotions, stories. It’s like a dream.

As soon as you close your eyes, you’re experiencing, you might call it daydreaming. But there’s no difference between a daydream and what you dream at night. Now physical world has disappeared, there’s only a mental world. Then you go deeper at night, even the mental world disappears in what we call deep sleep. Now, that is the highest intelligence, by the way, because in deep sleep there’s unconscious processing going on, there’s creativity going on, there are correlations being made, there are toxins being removed, there’s a whole resetting of your memories and consolidation of that. So, in deep sleep, even though there’s no experience of a physical or a mental world, it’s a very intelligent, highly, highly correlated state in which unconscious processing is occurring.

Get rid of the idea that the world is physical. What we call of the world as physical, even your physical body, is a perceptual activity. And that perceptual activity for you and me is a human perceptual activity through human consciousness, not through bat consciousness, not through mosquito consciousness, not through plant consciousness. Go beyond that.

There’s only one consciousness that is differentiating. Undifferentiated consciousness differentiating into these different species of consciousness that form a matrix of conscious beings that are collectively projecting this universe.

If I ask you what is this? You’d say it’s a cup, right? Well, if you were a baby, you wouldn’t know this is a cup, this is a shape, this is a color, this is a form, this is sensation. This is a taste and it’s noise. The rest is a story. It’s a human story we created, just like we created money or Wall Street or nation states, or colonial empires. And we take that for reality. So when you have time to be still, question your habitual uncertainties, you’ll realize that, actually, we know nothing. Nothing!

Everything we know is made up. It’s a human construct and once we are embedded in that human concept, we call it reality.

We don’t question what is the source of this experience? So taking retreats, practicing mindful awareness of body, of mind, of mental space of the web of relationship, the mystery of existence, it takes you slowly, deeper to your true self. As Rumi said, “God’s language is silence, everything else is poor translation.”

Full Interview:

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Life is like a book and every new chapter brings with it a mixed bag of feelings, emotions and experiences.

While some experiences give bring us joy and happiness, others make us anxious, sad and depressed. It’s like a roller-coaster ride with continuous ups and downs, but that’s what makes it interesting, isn’t it?

When life gets overwhelming, instead of facing everything with a positive attitude, we tend to stress over bad experiences, difficult situations and unfavorable circumstances. This creates panic and tension within, and suddenly we are no longer the person we used to be.

We forget our good habits, our natural style of living and start to embrace negativity. That’s where depression starts to set in. If not treated early we can end up stuck in a depression loop.

Yoga for Anxiety and Depression: 6 Poses to Boost Your Mood

Yoga, the age-old science of life is undoubtedly one of the best ways to overcome those miserable feelings and adopt a positive attitude towards life. The physical benefits of yoga are numerous and so are its mental rewards.

For those who are able to maintain a daily practice of yoga – depression, anxiety, stress and fatigue are only distant memories.

So, let’s look at 6 yoga asanas which should be practiced on a regular basis to ward off anxiety and depression.

1. Bridge Pose (Setu Bandhasana)

Lie down your back.
The arms should rest by the side and the palms should be down.
Fold your legs from the knees, making sure that a few inches of gap is there between your feet.
Now lift your back from the mat and ensure that the thighs remain parallel to each other.
Stay in the position for as long as you can and gently release.

Apart from being a great reliever of pain from the back, Setu Bandhasana helps to alleviate stress, anxiety and depression.

2. Child Pose (Balasana)

Kneel down on your mat.
There should be a gap of a few inches between your knees.
Bend forward such that your forehead touches the mat.
Bring your arms stretched out in front.
Stay in the position for a couple of minutes and gently release.

Balasana is a well-known pose for relieving negative mental build-up. The asana also helps to stretch the hips and lower back helping the body to relax.

3. Downward-Facing Dog Pose (Adho Mukha Svanasana)

Stand on all fours in such a manner that your body forms the structure of a table.
Let out your breath and slowly straighten your knees and elbows lifting your hips.
The idea is to create an inverted ‘V’ shape with your body.
Your feet should be in line with the hips whereas your shoulders should be in line with your hands.
Press firmly on the ground, tuck your tummy and look at your navel.
Stay in this position for as long as it is comfortable and gently release.

The benefit of this asana is that it promotes fresh blood flow in the body. The cervical spine and the neck are also stretched to a good extent which results in the release of stress from these areas. Thus, the entire body feels calm and anxiety is reduced.

4. Upward-Facing Dog Pose (Urdhva Mukha Svanasana)

Lie face down on your yoga mat.
Place your palms on either side close to your chest.
Straighten the arms; lift the legs and torso from the mat (a few inches).
Keep the top of your feet pressed firmly on the ground.
Head should be kept straight or upwards and the shoulders should be away from the ears.
Maintain the pose till the time you are comfortable and release slowly.

The asana is best-suited for milder cases of depression but is better at relieving fatigue. The physical stress that is captured in the back is easily released with the practice of this pose.

5. Standing Forward Fold Pose (Uttanasana)

Stand in a straight position with hands by the side of your body.
Take your arms to your hips and bend forward.
Your chest and head should touch your thighs.
Now take your hands down and grab your ankles.
The thighs should be straight.
Maintain the position for a few breaths and release.

The tension from the neck, shoulders and back is removed with the practice of this pose. The functioning of the nervous system is also improved with its daily practice.

6. Plow Pose (Halasana)

Lie down flat on the back with the arms resting by the sides.
Lift the legs such that they make a 90 degree angle with the ground.
Now take your hands to your hip and lift the hips close to the chest by using the hands as support.
Now slowly take your legs over the head and place the toes above the head on the ground, firmly.
Thighs should be kept straight and remove the hands from the hips and keep them straight, stretched out forward with palms down.
Stay in the position for at least a minute and release.

Another pose great for reducing strain, felt in the back. Halasana is also good for calming the brain and keeping your mind relaxed.

Use this poses often to increase your health and mood, beat depression and get the most out of life.

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Emotional resilience is the measure of how we respond to and deal with things that happen to us in our day to day life. It’s our capacity to cope with challenges and hurdles that present themselves on this wonderful journey.

For example, a similar situation can occur at the same time to two sperate people, but ultimately it is their resilience that will dictate how they respond to it.

When faced with a tragedy or a challenge in your life, how do you handle it?

Do you get emotional, blame others, or even yourself? Or are you slightly more measured in your responses, and look at things pragmatically?

Put simply, emotionally resilient people are able to handle life’s challenges better.

The great part about coming to understand this is learning that you can grow your personal resilience muscles.

Yep, with time, patience and practice, you can actually build your emotional resilience and gain control over your responses to life’s challenges. But how?

4 Simple Steps That Will Help You To Build Emotional Resilience

1. Practice acceptance | Emotional Resilience

We fall into trouble when we try to control and affect the things in life that are not able to be controlled.

Instead of trying to control, we need to practice learning to accept certain things as part of life.

Understanding this and using self-awareness to identify what can and cannot be directly affected by you will greatly help you in measuring how to respond to a situation when it arises.

2. Predict change | Emotional Resilience

Not only do we need to learn to accept certain things are out of our control, but we also need to learn to anticipate change as a part of life.

Nothing in life is constant. We are constantly growing, changing, evolving and so is the world around us.

Just as nature has seasons, so do we. Learn to flow with life not against it. This will build up emotional resilience in you to be used when truly necessary.

3. Have hope | Emotional Resilience

Optimism is key to building your emotional resilience.

If we have a negative outlook on life, and kind of feel like it’s all for nothing then we probably aren’t going to have much positivity to hold onto when something goes differently to the way we want.

On the contrary, if we have an optimistic outlook we are more likely to accept challenges with “a grain of salt” and trust that life is always working in our favour.

4. Forgive yourself | Emotional Resilience

It’s not always easy to respond “well” when faced with difficulty in life. But in the end, if you are making efforts towards becoming more self-aware. Learning to grow and expanding your consciousness, you are doing GREAT.

Forgive yourself for any times you may not been as resilient as you would have liked, and remember – You are evolving. The more we learn from mistakes the stronger we become going forward.

Emotional resilience is a strength that will help you in many ways. Even if you haven’t got it right now, trust in your ability to improve as time goes on.

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Fighting depression is a tough journey, one that sometimes feels impossible, but you are not alone, the World Health Organization estimates at least 350 million people suffer from depression worldwide.

Unlike a physical illness, depression cannot be healed by medication alone. It requires willpower and perseverance, which depression evaporates. Therein lies the difficulty. You must fight to change your thinking. So start with these five ways to rewire your brain when you’re feeling depressed.

1. Don’t Be Fooled By Negativity | Feeling Depressed

Depression tricks our brain into thinking negatively. It destroys our sense of identity and self pride by creating an endless loop of negative thoughts. The more ambitious you are, the more at risk you are. Because you expect so much from yourself

You start thinking that you don’t deserve anything when you lose your sense of self-worth. You tell yourself the bad things happening to you are justified & you begin to believe the negative thoughts you tell yourself.

Your thoughts define your reality.

The solution sounds naively simple: Change your thoughts.

First think of the good things in your life, if you’re alive that’s the first one, depression might tell you that it’s not.. But your life is a golden ticket and you can still achieve any of your wildest dreams and help others who are suffering as much as you are.

So figure out a few positives and repeat them to yourself every. single. day.

The more times the better, you must re-train your brain, you might say “Oh I’ve tried positive thinking before & it doesn’t work.” Well did you try it for a whole year? Did you try it 25 times a day? Even when you didn’t feel like it? Did you become obsessed with the idea of changing the way you think?

Depression is like a worn path in the forest, just throwing some grass seeds down and walking away will not fix it. You must water it and nurture it every day if you wish to see a new mindset grow.

2. Remember Progress Is Better Than Perfection | Feeling Depressed

We spiral further into depression because we are too hard on ourselves. As human beings we naturally want to thrive.

Afterall, success is admirable. But sometimes, we break our backs trying to achieve unrealistic expectations of success.

When we strive for perfection and fall short, we feel worthless.

We’ve all heard the saying Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it applies here too. Instead of thinking of life as a finished product that you have to reach instantly, remember great things take time.

Every day is another chance to start building something great.

Each day place a brick as perfectly as a brick can be placed, and soon enough you will have a wall..

Continue doing your best each and every day, and one day you’ll look up and see your finished project.

Just because you can’t go from 0 to a 100 doesn’t make you a bad person, it just means you’re ambitious.

99% of successful people in the world today, struggled for a long time before they ‘made it.’

This is all part of your journey, all of your difficulties are shaping you into a person that is truly capable of greatness.

So push on and do your best, one day at a time.

3. Remember Your Quality | Feeling Depressed

Everyday, remind yourself what a great person you are.

Remind yourself of your qualities.. Do you possess kindness, the greatest currency on Earth? Or do you have a talent for design? Do you have an deep interest in something most people don’t know anything about?

Remind yourself of your potential.. There are so many people on this Earth that started with nothing and became hugely successful. The only thing that matters in this world is how badly you want something.. You have the potential to be anything you want in this world, even if you have to fight through depression to make it happen.

Never let go, keep fighting you are well on your way to brighter days.

4. Don’t Ignore Warning Signs | Feeling Depressed

When you’re living a busy life it’s so easy to ignore the signals your body is sending you.

Rest is critical to mental health and peak performance. If you feel tired, take a break, you don’t have to do everything in one day. Take a breather and slowly build the momentum each day as your routine and rest cycle improves. Self-care is one of the most underrated life strategies that all successful people practice.

People brag about how many hours they worked or how hard it was to get where they are now, to put it simply work smarter not harder, the most successful people figure out how to do things more effectively as to free themselves up for their most important tasks. (one of which is self-care)

So try to organise your life a bit better, an easier routine, outsource work, a better diet and better health that will give you more energy, are all great starting points.

5. Stop Comparing | Feeling Depressed

We live in a world where everyone is constantly comparing themselves to others, their neighbours, colleagues and of course the ‘highlight reel’ that is social media.

With 7.7 billion people in the world, of course there will always be someone that has the life we want, which can leave us feeling depressed.

But when you start realizing that the person you compare yourself to compares themself to others, we realize that it’s only human nature to do such a thing. Humans evolved living in small groups, they would ‘compare’ themselves to the best hunter or the best cook so that they could improve their own skills..

So find a strong mentor, someone you trust and can be honest with, there’s a reason life coaches are becoming more prominent than ever, it’s someone to be accountable to, that you can be honest with and they will help you stay on track.

Start with these five steps on your journey to becoming your best self & always remember, wanting to be like someone else is an insult to who you are.

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As much as we always want life to be easy and simple, it’s not.

And to be honest, if it were always easy and simple, our successes wouldn’t be as fulfilling as they are.

When you’re going through a dark period, though, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and remember that you will make it through.

Sometimes you just need a friend to sit with you in the dark, and other times you need inspiration to stand up and keep moving forward.

No matter where you are these quotes will lift you up to see the light again.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” -Thomas Edison

It can be easy to get stuck and forget the bigger picture when you’re down, but you can’t give up. Things will turn around if you persevere. Sometimes it seems impossible, but….

“If all you can do is crawl, start crawling.” -Rumi

You don’t have to muster up a Herculean effort, but maybe right now crawling is Herculean. If you just keeping plugging away, eventually you will find the darkness slowly lift as you emerge into the light.

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” -Victor Hugo

If you commit to keep going, through the darkness, eventually there will be light. All hard times pass, and those who keep their head up can see the true beauty of the challenge.

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” -J.K. Rowling (Dumbledore)

Sometimes it’s hard to find hope in the darkness and sometimes you just need someone to sit with you in that darkness and let things be hard. It’s natural to feel sadness and to go through hard times.

“Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you’re alive.” -Unknown

But once you’ve hit rock bottom and allowed yourself to experience those important emotions and you’re ready to come out of it, the world is waiting for you to emerge a better person.

“Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along.”- Rae Smith

Sometimes when you’re going through a dark period it’s because you keep looking at the past and trying to make things the same as they were before, but that’s not always possible. Maybe you need to move on from something, but your constant flirtation with the past is holding you back.

“Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it.” -Unknown | Quotes to Lift You Up

Be present enough to notice what gives you positive energy, and that which takes it away. Adjust accordingly. Be brave enough to let go of everything that no longer serves you.

“There are some things you can only learn in a storm.” -Joel Osteen | Quotes to Lift You Up

Your dark periods can teach you a lot about yourself and they’re often a necessary part of your life journey. Don’t discount the feelings that you’re experiencing right now and know that they’re an important part of who you are who you are going to become.

“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for extraordinary destiny.”- C. S. Lewis

No matter what storm you’re going through, you are strong enough to weather the storm. Think of all the hard times you’ve had before and remember that you got through them, just as you will get through this. Sometimes you just need to hang on for a little bit longer.

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” -Thomas Jefferson | Quotes to Lift You Up

No matter how rough things get, all you have to do is hold on. You never know what the tide will bring tomorrow.

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Depression sucks. There is no easier way to say it.

Not only does it prevent you from living your life the way you want, it also makes relationships incredibly difficult to maintain.

Dealing with depression in relationships offers a unique set of challenges that not everybody will be open to talking about. After all, feeling empty, unmotivated, anxious, or pessimistic are hardly ideal circumstances for those looking to build relationships & life their best lives.

Don’t despair. Love is out there. The journey to get there will be more challenging, but it is possible.

For those suffering from mental health issues, here are 7 truths about depression and how to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

7 Ugly Truths about Depression and Mental Illnesses

1. You Feel Alone, Even When You’re Not

One of the most frustrating parts of dealing with depression in relationship is how alone you feel, even when someone else is in the room with you.

You know your spouse loves you, but you still can’t shake the feeling that you’re unworthy of love and affection or that nobody understands you. This can cause you to develop a pessimistic view of the people around you.

Combat this harmful thinking by forming one simple habit. At the end of each day, write down one or more things you are grateful for. Did someone smile at you on your way to work? Your friend did or said something thoughtful? Your spouse was there to hug you when you came home or listen to you talk about your day?

Keeping an appreciation journal can be a wonderful reminder of how many people there are in your life who care about you.

2. Anything Can Trigger You

When you suffer with mental health issues, certain actions, phrases, or feelings can trigger painful memories or anxiety attacks. This is a stressful and hurtful process that can take days to come down from.

It could be a song on the radio, a certain look on your partner’s face, or seemingly nothing at all. Whatever the case, knowing what your triggers are can be helpful in avoiding unnecessary stress and sadness.

3. It’s Difficult to Be in a Relationship

Not only does this cause the person suffering from mental health disorders to feel guilty, but it can also be incredibly frustrating for the other spouse in the relationship.

Sex is an important way for couples to connect on an emotional and physical level. Not only is it a fun way to reduce stress, but studies show that the more enjoyable sex a couple has, the more likely they are to verbalize their love for one another. Further studies show that sexual satisfaction was the largest predictor in heightened emotional intimacy in couples.

The most common antidepressants, called selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can have a negative impact on your sex drive and lower libido significantly. This can make sex sound unappealing for those suffering from depression.

Those dealing with mental health problems should not give up on the prospect of love. When you find the person who you are meant to be with, they will be able to handle your emotional journey and will love you for all that you are, not in spite of it.

4. There is a Stigma Around Depression

The National Institute of Mental Health reports that more than 10-million Americans suffer from some form of mental health issue. Even with all of these reported cases of depression, the negative stigma for those with mental health issues still exist.

Some may say, “You’re not depressed, you’re just sad. You’ll get over it.” Others may even say “You’re just using your depression as a way to get out of working.”

Do not listen to such negative talk. Focus only on the opinions of those that matter – your spouse and close friend and family. They are the ones who know you, love you, and see firsthand what you are really going through.

5. Everyday Tasks Seem Impossible

Depression can make you feel zapped of all your energy. Even something as simple as taking a phone call or bringing your coffee cup back into the kitchen can make you feel absolutely exhausted.

The bright side is that there are plenty of steps you can take to reclaim your life. Taking small, baby steps each day can help you reach your next goal. Start slow. Get up, brush your teeth. Then, if you’re able, go downstairs and make breakfast.

Focus on small goals and don’t overwhelm yourself. Instead, acknowledge daily achievements and be proud of yourself for taking small steps toward returning to regular daily routines.

6. Depression = Selfish?

It’s hard not to think about yourself when you feel like there is a constant, heavy weight on your shoulders. Work hard not to let this darkness swallow you whole. Such behavior can make it difficult to maintain friendships and a romantic relationship.

In times when you are feeling especially drawn into yourself, verbally remind your spouse how much you love and appreciate their support and care for you. Ask open-ended questions about them to draw them out and remind them that you care about what is going on in their lives, as well.

Volunteering can also be a great way to boost your mood, according to Harley Therapy Counseling. Volunteering can create a change in thought patterns that can turn negative outlooks into positive ones.

7. Getting Help Can Be Difficult

When dealing with mental health issues or depression, it can be difficult to come out and say it. But, getting help is essential for you to live your best life possible.

Therapy can be healing to your body and soul. It can also do wonders for restoring your romantic relationship and other social connections. A therapist can also help you understand tools you can use to help combat the side-effects of depression.

Conclusion: Dealing with depression is hard, no matter which side of the coin you’re on. But, that should never stop anyone dealing with mental health issues from chasing after the love of their life.

Don’t give up on love and keep fighting to live your best life , one day at a time.

Keep going. Make today count.

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Eckhart Tolle is one of the most prominent spiritual teachers in the world today. Born in a small town in Germany in 1948, three years after the end of World War 2.

For most of his life, even Eckhart Tolle himself had no idea of his future ascension to the summit of spiritual guidance. He described his childhood as unhappy. Alienated by a hostile school environment, in a country still reeling from unprecedented devastation.

At age 13 Eckart Tolle moved to Spain, his father insisted he did not need to attend high school, instead Eckhart chose to study literature, astronomy and various languages at home. During this time Eckhart Tolle read several books by German mystic Bô Yin Râ, Eckhart commented that these books affected him “very deeply.”

At age 19, Eckhart Tolle moved to England and for three years taught German and Spanish at a London school. Troubled by “depression, anxiety and fear”, he began “searching for answers” in his life.

In his early twenties, he decided to pursue the answers he hungered for by studying philosophy, psychology, and literature. Eckhart Tolle enrolled into the University of London. After graduating he was offered a scholarship at Cambridge University.

The Night That Changed Everything

One night in 1977, at the age of 29, after having suffered from depression for most of his life. Tolle says he experienced an “inner transformation.” That night he awakened from his sleep. Suffering from unbearable dread and thoughts of suicide. Eckhart Tolle experienced a life-changing epiphany.

Recounting the experience to Oprah on Super Soul Sunday, he says,

I couldn’t live with myself any longer. And in this a question arose without an answer: who is the ‘I’ that cannot live with the self? What is the self? I didn’t know at the time that what really happened was the mind-made self, with its heaviness, its problems, that lives between the unsatisfying past and the fearful future, collapsed. It dissolved.

The next morning I woke up and everything was so peaceful. The peace was there because there was no self.

Just a sense of presence, just observing and watching.

Eckhart stopped studying for his doctorate. For around two years after this experience he spent much of his time sitting “in a state of deep bliss,” on park benches in Russell Square, Central London, “watching the world go by.” He stayed with friends, in a Buddhist monastery, or otherwise slept rough on Hampstead Heath.

His family thought him “irresponsible, even insane.” A 2012 interview article states that he saw the name Eckhart on one of a pile of books in a dream, and knew he had written the book. Soon after in real life he ran into a psychic friend who called him Eckhart out of nowhere, so he changed his name. Eckhart went on to author
The Power of Now and A New Earth. Collectively his books have sold over 20 million copies! How a man can go from contemplating suicide to helping millions of people across the globe is truly inspiring.

How Eckhart Tolle Brought Himself Back From The Brink Of Suicide

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When we feel the darkness press in we can trust ourselves to find the light.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” Aristotle Onassis

Anyone can be happy, positive and grateful when everything is going well. But when nothing is going well, that is when we truly need to focus, to see the light. That is when we truly need to go deeper into gratitude and focus on the good in our lives.

Everyone has been in the position of feeling themselves engulfed by darkness. The truth is that hope remains. We need to remember how to see it. We can see it more clearly and focus on it when the dark threatens to swallow us up. The light that shines in the darkness is always there, waiting for us. It can be hard to recognize, to reach, and to keep.

First: The Darkness

“Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.” Madeline L’Engle

It’s not just when the lights go out. It can be when we sit by a hospital bed – or are lying in a hospital ourselves. It can be when we stand by a grave. Perhaps when our finances go badly, or a relative brings trouble on the rest of the family. Sometimes it is world events that appear so huge and relentless that relief seems to be nothing more than a wisp of a lost hope. Studies show that suicide rates have increased. Mental health professionals are seeing more patients. People feel the darkness. But hope and light await us!

Second: The Light

 “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” Desmond Tutu

They say there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. This is a close cousin to the quote above. That light may appear very small and very far away- or we may have been deceived by the darkness. With darkness all around us in our moment of trouble, it may only make the light appear small or distant. That light might be very near us! And in many of life’s challenges, that light is often just about to break in upon us and banish the dark, if we can only hold out. Yet another saying states that it is often darkest before the dawn. In the night of our troubles that last hour before the sun returns often seems to be the weariest, most forlorn, and most sorrowful. Hang on! You can do this! In fact, you may have the light within yourself.

Third: The Focus

We are creatures blessed with mental faculties that can solve problems big and little. We just seem to forget that and settle for the darkness, believing that we can’t do anything about it. But we have the ability to focus our energy and build a light that will show the way. And honestly, the light within us? It shines out where everyone else can see it as well.

How do we find the light in the dark? It varies. We may need to do some self-care so we’re taking good care of our minds and bodies. That includes restful sleep, any amount of exercise, and healthy foods that power our bodies and brains. It means connecting with others. It means giving yourself a good talking to and telling yourself “Hold on!” and “You got this!” It means changing some behavior or other in your life. Remember that little steps taken in the beginning become large, confident strides with experience.

Which Aristotle Said That?

In the further interest of light, that is, truth, many people mistake this quote as having come from the Aristotle of ancient times. It is more regularly attributed to the business magnate of the 20th Century Aristotle Onassis, who married Jacqueline Kennedy. He is also reported to have said: “We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.” He applied this to his shipping business and to life. It seems to fit in with our first quote, don’t you think? Once we free ourselves from misleading expectations about life (a kind of self-imposed darkness), we are then capable of grasping what really stands before us (the waiting light). Our success rate will no doubt improve when we face what is truly out there and go forth courageously to “sail in high winds”.

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You’re not alone, we all slip from time to time. It’s important to arrest this momentum straight away so you can get back to living your life fully.

Life gets busy, hectic and chaotic. With so much noise in the world is hard to pull yourself out of a funk at times.

Usually, if you are in a funk it’s because you are doing the same things and having the same thoughts over and over again.

This is why so many people lead the same day, week, and month unconsciously. If things are great then awesome. But if not, it can make for a life of unnecessary struggling, frustration, and hardship.

Here are three easy tricks to free yourself and become unstoppable

1. Gain Clarity With a Morning Routine | How to get out of a funk

Your morning sets your day up for success or failure. Is your current routine helping or hurting you? If you hit the snooze, rush out of work, and try to catch up the rest of the day it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

Instead, become intentional about how you spend your time in the mornings and start creating an empowering morning routine. The more intentional you are with more your time the more benefit you will see the rest of the day.

If you haven’t started a morning routine try getting up 15-20 minutes earlier than normal Do any or all of these habits each morning to start the day off focused and on your terms.

• Meditation

There are so many benefits of meditation! Spend 10-20 minutes centering yourself to begin each day.

• Write in a Journal

If you want to learn how to get out of a funk start writing a journal immediately! Get your thoughts on to paper so you can focus on how to make your situation better. Use a journal to brain dump, plan your day, and set goals for an abundant future. 

• Exercise

Like meditation, there are tons of benefits to exercise. This could be a long walk with your dog, working out or going to a yoga or pilates class. 

2. Surround Yourself With Positive People | How to get out of a funk

As Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Don’t underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you strong, they’re making you weak in life.

Often times the people closest to you might be one of the reasons you are in a funk but it’s so habitual to see them you might not even realize it. Instead, spend time seeking out people who bring out the best version of you.

Go to new places, find new events, and make an effort to surround yourself with winners.

3. Replace Negative Self-talk | How to get out of a funk

The final way to help you get out of your funk is to tackle your inner self-talk. It’s impossible to live a beautiful, happy, abundant life with negative self-talk.

With meditation and mindfulness apps you can become more aware of your thoughts. You will be able to identify if you are telling yourself uplifting things or ones that hurt your confidence and self-esteem.

The sooner you can become aware of your inner critic and flip it, the sooner you can get out of your funk. Learn to become your own best friend!

Remember that a funk is temporary. You have the power to get out of a funk if you are willing to make some changes.

While it’s not always easy to change, its necessary to help you get the most out of life. Use these three tricks and don’t be afraid to mix up other areas of your life that have become stagnant.

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